Grudges

 

For broken relationships to heal, both parties must be willing to forgive and move on. What if you are willing to forgive, but the other party holds grudges?

Forgiving is a gift each can give to another, but you cannot make somebody else forgive you. Ultimately, both parties have to make that choice.

Avoid making things worse if you can

There is a biblical principle that may prevent resentment and anger in the first place. Notice Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Deflecting anger with inoffensive or mild responses can be difficult in the moment, but it will pay dividends in the long run.

Harsh words spoken during tense or difficult times make forgiveness and reconciliation much more difficult for the offended party. Proverbs 18:19 sums this up as follows: “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Defusing the situation early on makes things much easier all the way around.

Settle quickly

In Matthew 5:25 Jesus Christ said: “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.”

If much time passes with no resolution in a contentious situation, hard feelings can often set in. Efforts to resolve things later become more difficult and new problems can cause old feelings to boil over more easily.

Grudges: A case study

The biblical story of Jacob and Esau is familiar to most Bible readers. Jacob and Esau were the sons of Isaac. Esau, as the elder son, stood to receive the firstborn’s share of the inheritance from Isaac. Jacob (aided by his mother) used a tremendous amount of deceit in order to steal this birthright inheritance from his brother. The story is told in Genesis 27.

What Jacob did was not a small thing. It was not as though he had borrowed something from his brother and neglected to return it. This inheritance would give Jacob the best things in life, including mastery over his brother Esau (Genesis 27:28-29). Esau’s reaction to what Jacob had done was nothing less than a bitter rage.

In fact, Jacob had to flee the area because Esau planned to kill him (Genesis 27:41). Verses 42-44 contain the advice of Jacob’s mother: “Surely your brother Esau comforts himself concerning you by intending to kill you. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice: arise, flee to my brother Laban in Haran. And stay with him a few days, until your brother’s fury turns away, until your brother’s anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him.”

In fact, at least 20 years went by before Jacob saw Esau again. What was Jacob to do when he finally saw Esau again?

Jacob’s efforts at making peace

In Genesis 32 Jacob was returning home and had to pass through land occupied by Esau and his family, as well as Esau’s servants. In verse 6, Jacob was informed by his servants that Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men. Jacob feared Esau’s intentions. Obviously, a group of 400 men was more than what would be needed for a welcoming party!

The plan Jacob devised involved offering an olive branch of peace to Esau. In fact, he offered a succession of olive branches, with a little time between each offering, thus hoping Esau would calm down and rethink any anger he may have been feeling.

Notice in Genesis 32:13-15 the presents that Jacob gave to Esau: 200 female goats, 20 male goats, 200 ewes and 20 rams, 30 milk camels with colts, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys and 10 donkey foals. That was quite a present!

Jacob’s instructions to the men delivering the presents are found in verse 16: “Then he delivered them to the hand of his servants, every drove by itself, and said to his servants, ‘Pass over before me, and put some distance between successive droves.’”

Jacob also instructed the servants to refer to Esau as “my lord” and to refer to Jacob as “your servant” (verses 17-20). When Jacob finally met Esau in Genesis 33, Jacob bowed seven times before Esau as a sign of respect.

The Bible does not tell us what Esau had intended to do to Jacob, but after the spaced succession of gifts and many signs of respect from Jacob, here was Esau’s reaction: “But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept” (Genesis 33:4). Whatever his intentions had been, Esau showed love and forgiveness.

What can we learn about overcoming grudges?

Jacob was no doubt a wealthy man, and he could afford to offer presents beyond the means of most of us. The value of the gifts, however, was not the important thing in this situation. The important thing was Jacob’s humility and his willingness to be the peacemaker.

We have to be willing to take the lead in reconciliation, swallowing our own pride and holding our temper when needed. We have to overcome our own grudges and desire for revenge and be willing to offer the olive branch. This will not always guarantee forgiveness and a healed relationship, but the biblical instructions we have seen tell us that we must be willing to try!

For more insight on the importance of overcoming grudges, read our blog post “How to Hold a Grudge (and Stay Unhappy the Rest of Your Life).”

What Is Forgiveness of Sins?

 

The Bible teaches us that God is quick to forgive us of our sins. But what does it mean to forgive? How do we ask God for forgiveness, and why is it important?

The Bible tells us that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). It also tells us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

This is a problem.

Because we’ve all sinned, we’ve all earned the “wages” of sin: eternal death (not an eternity in hell).

This is a problem for us, but it’s also a problem for God, who is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). God doesn’t want us to perish, but because of our individual sins, we will perish—and in the process, God will be deprived of the children He created with the potential to join His family (John 1:12).

Isaiah the prophet wrote, “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear” (Isaiah 59:1-2).

There’s only one solution to this problem:

Forgiveness.

What is forgiveness? What does it mean to forgive?

Forgiveness is a simple concept, and without it, Christianity can’t exist. Without forgiveness, we remain “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1). But that’s not what God wants for us. He’s aware of our human weaknesses: “As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). When we sin, we have the ability to ask God for forgiveness.

Confessing our sins requires more than just admitting that we’ve sinned or feeling sorry for our sins. It requires us to take responsibility for our actions and actively seek to change that aspect of our identity. This is a process known as repentance. The Greek word for “repent,” metanoeó, literally refers to a change of mind and of purpose.

Repentance is a change of heart and change of direction. It involves a determination to stop sinning and not to sin in the future.

After we confess our sins to God and repent of them, the Bible says that God does two things: He forgives them, and He cleanses us from all unrighteousness. When God forgives our sins, He removes them from us forever—they will never again be associated with us. “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness,” He tells us, “and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12).

Once God has forgiven us of a sin, He treats us as if that sin never happened. A psalmist put it this way: “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:10-12).

How to ask God for forgiveness

There is no elaborate “forgiveness prayer” we must pray to receive God’s forgiveness, but the Bible does give us examples of how to ask for it:

• In the model prayer, Jesus taught His disciples to ask God to “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).
• In the parable of the tax collector, the tax collector, “standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’” (Luke 18:13).
• Daniel acknowledged, “O Lord, to us belongs shame of face, to our kings, our princes, and our fathers, because we have sinned against You. To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against Him” (Daniel 9:8-9).
• King David came to a heavy realization: “I have sinned against the LORD” (2 Samuel 12:13), later asking God to “hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities” (Psalm 51:9).

When we sin, we have the ability to come before God in prayer, admit our sins, and ask for His forgiveness. “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16).

The cost of forgiveness of sins

As we noted earlier, sin comes with a price—namely, death (Romans 6:23). Part of the forgiveness process is paying that price. Although God is willing to forgive our sins, He is not willing to waive the penalty for sin.

Under the Old Covenant, God’s people were instructed to offer animal sacrifices to atone for their sins. In the New Testament, we are told that these sacrifices pointed toward the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ:

“Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins . . .

“For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf. Nor was it to offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself” (Hebrews 9:22, 24-26, English Standard Version).

When Jesus came to this earth, He died “to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). This one perfect sacrifice of the Son of God, who lived without sin, is enough to pay the penalty of all sins.

Are all sins forgiven?

God will not forgive the sins we refuse to repent of. He will not overlook the sins we continue to commit without shame or remorse. However, He will forgive any sin we genuinely repent of.Although Christ’s sacrifice can pay the penalty of all sins, it does not automatically pay the penalty of all sins. The Bible is clear that we must repent of our sins before we can be forgiven of them.

The apostle John sums up sin, repentance and God’s forgiveness this way: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us” (1 John 1:9-10). God will forgive our sins when we admit them to Him and seek forgiveness.

The apostle Peter explained the process this way: “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38).

Repentance—that is, a genuine desire to change our ways—leads us to baptism. When we are baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, we are baptized into His death (Romans 6:3)—and His death pays the penalty of our sins.

But baptism is more than just an event—it’s a commitment. Paul wrote that Christ “died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Corinthians 5:15).

Accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ as payment for our sins opens the door to forgiveness, but it also means committing ourselves to living His way of life.

Does God forgive all sins?

There is no sin God cannot forgive—although there is a sin He will not forgive. This is often referred to as the “unpardonable sin.” If we knowingly and willingly reject God and His way of life—if we refuse to repent of our sins and seek to change our ways—then “there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins” (Hebrews 10:26).

God will not forgive the sins we refuse to repent of. He will not overlook the sins we continue to commit without shame or remorse.

However, He will forgive any sin we genuinely repent of. Remember: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

All unrighteousness. Not some unrighteousness. All of it. God forgives adultery. He forgives murder. He forgives repeated sins. If we come to Him, repentant and desiring to change, He can and will forgive all our sins through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

King David and Bathsheba

The life of King David shows this principle in action. David committed some terrible sins—most notably during his affair with Bathsheba, wife of Uriah. In a short time frame, David broke many of God’s commandments: he lusted after another man’s wife, he committed adultery with her, he attempted to deceive Uriah about the resulting pregnancy—and when that failed, he effectively signed Uriah’s death warrant, ultimately taking Bathsheba as his own wife.

Covetousness, adultery, lies, murder and theft. David had done some awful things, abusing the royal authority God had entrusted to him. It took a wake-up call from a prophet before David saw the enormity of his sins: “So David said to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the LORD.’ And Nathan said to David, ‘The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die’” (2 Samuel 12:13).

Psalm 51 gives greater insight into David’s process of repentance. He petitioned God, “Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin . . . Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me” (Psalm 51:1-2, 10-11).

God answered that prayer. Although David still suffered serious fallout from his actions (2 Samuel 12:10-12), he was brought back into a relationship with God. Centuries after David’s death, God still considered him to be “a man after My own heart” (Acts 13:22)—not because of his sins, but because of his desire to leave his sins behind and be more like God.

When we repent, there is no sin God will not forgive.

God expects us to forgive others

Once God forgives us, we must also forgive others for their sins and offenses against us. Christ’s model prayer, often called the Lord’s Prayer, clearly explains what is required of us: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

The word debts used above is the Greek word opheilema. It is defined in Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words as “that which is legally due . . . metaphorically, of sin as a debt, because it demands expiation, and thus payment by way of punishment” (1997, p. 269).

When God forgives us, He removes that sin and the penalty of death that would have resulted. So, as God forgives us, we need to forgive others in like manner.

Peter asked Jesus, “‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven’” (Matthew 18:21-22, emphasis added).

God doesn’t put a limit on how many times He’ll forgive us—and we shouldn’t have a limit on how many times we’ll forgive others.

God’s nature is one of mercy: “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy” (Psalm 103:8). He isn’t eagerly hoping for the opportunity to punish us for our sins. He wants to forgive us. When we acknowledge and repent of our sins—when we come before God and seek His forgiveness—He is quick to forgive and offer His abundant mercy to us.

In return, God requires that we show the same forgiving attitude toward our fellow human beings. Matthew 6:14-15 sums up God’s approach to us and our sins: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Forgiveness is a vital part of God’s plan for us. When He forgives us, we can leave our sins behind and become more like Him. And as we become more like Him, we learn to extend that same forgiveness to others. Following a God who is abundant in mercy means we have to learn to be abundant in our mercy too.

Forgiveness: How Can We Be Forgiven?

 

The perfect, holy God abhors sin and evil, yet His beloved human creation has succumbed to sin. Every human being has sinned, and this terrible blotch has separated us from the righteous God.

Thankfully, God had a plan. Jesus Christ was willing to come to earth and pay our death penalty for us. Because of that, God is willing to forgive our sins, which are paid for by Christ’s shed blood: “In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:14).

As God forgives our sins, He expects us to forgive others. We are to pray asking God to “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

After Jesus was crucified, He asked God to “forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). Jesus asked the Father to forgive those who had just beaten and crucified Him! That is a powerful example He set for all of us. Christ taught that we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” times and from the heart (Matthew 18:22, 35 ).

Read more about God’s incredible forgiveness, and the forgiveness we should practice, in the related articles.

Self-Justification … or Justified by God?

 

What is the difference between self-justification and the justification that comes through Jesus Christ? The answer has eternal significance for you!

We all want to be right. How do we become right with God? How do we become justified? The apostle Paul wrote: “It [faith] shall be imputed to us who believe in Him who raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead, who was delivered up because of our offenses, and was raised because of our justification” (Romans 4:24-25).

What does it mean, He “was raised because of our justification”? What does this phrase mean in the original language in which it was written? According to the Greek Dictionary of the New Testament of Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, the Greek word translated “because of” is dia (G1223). It is a word that can mean “by reason of” or “for the sake of.” The meaning can include “because of,” but in the context here, it might be better understood as “Jesus was raised so that we can be justified.”

Godly justification comes through Jesus Christ.

Making excuses

On the other hand, Merriam-Webster.com explains that “self-justification” is simply “the act of making excuses for one’s self.”

When we hear the phrase “self-justification,” it is usually in the context of someone trying to get out of something. A person may claim his or her innocence to avoid a penalty. People often justify themselves simply to avoid embarrassment.

Children often do this when asked the question, “What happened?” Some children will quickly state (even if guilty), “It wasn’t me—I didn’t do it!” or, “It’s not my fault!” We may find those phrases almost humorous simply because they bring to mind the many times we have heard similar attempts at self-justification.

Do we as adults ever find ourselves doing something similar? Do we ever find ourselves trying to justify what we have done? Do we lean on the age-old excuse that “the devil made me do it”?

On the job, when something doesn’t go right, we may hear self-justification like, “That’s not my responsibility” or, “That’s not my job!” In the midst of marriage conflicts, many problems go unsolved because both spouses claim, “It wasn’t my fault” or, “It isn’t me who is the problem!” The blame in these situations seems to find its way to someone else—just like in the Garden of Eden.

In the Garden of Eden

After Adam and Eve had eaten of the forbidden fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God addressed them in the garden.

“Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, ‘Where are you?’ So he said, ‘I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.’

“And He said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?’ Then the man said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.’

“And the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate’” (Genesis 3:9-13).

Adam passed the blame to Eve, who passed the blame to the serpent. They both tried to justify themselves, instead of humbling themselves by admitting their mistakes.

Examples of self-justification

Consider some examples Jesus gave us of self-justification.

“A certain lawyer stood up and tested Him [Jesus], saying, ‘Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?’ He said to him, ‘What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?’

“So he [the lawyer] answered and said, ‘“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,” and “your neighbor as yourself.”’

“And He said to him, ‘You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.’ But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” (Luke 10:25-29).

This man tried to justify himself by seeking to limit who would be considered his neighbor. Jesus Christ then told him the story of the Good Samaritan and made it apparent that this man needed to show love to all his neighbors—no matter who they might be.

In another example, Jesus said, “‘No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.’

“Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, also heard all these things, and they derided Him. And He said to them, ‘You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God’” (Luke 16:13-15).

We all have a tendency to justify ourselves to other people. We do this to “look good” and claim innocence, despite the fact we all make mistakes. At times we are guilty of wrong thoughts and attitudes, and we cannot hide this from God.

Example of Job

“There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1:1).

Job was a righteous man; and though he was righteous, God allowed him to suffer and used that suffering to teach him a valuable lesson about self-justification. Toward the end of his ordeal, “the wrath of Elihu, the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, was aroused against Job; his wrath was aroused because he justified himself rather than God” (Job 32:2).

Job justified himself rather than God. “Literally, he justified his soul, נפשו naphhso, before God. He defended, not only the whole of his conduct, but also his motives, thoughts, etc.” (Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible, note on Job 32:2).

At the end of the story, Job had learned a valuable lesson. Notice what he says in the last chapter: “Then Job answered the LORD and said: ‘I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, “Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?” Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, “I will question you, and you shall answer Me.” I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes’” (Job 42:1-6).

The Jewish Publication Society translates this last sentence as, “Wherefore I abhor my words, and repent, seeing I am dust and ashes.” Job realized how he had justified himself, and he humbled himself before God.

The Pharisee and the tax collector

Luke records another story of self-justification: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’

Godly justification doesn’t come by giving a quick answer or proving one’s innocence, but rather through repentance and remaining free from sin.“And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 18:10-14).

This story is explained further in the article “The Pharisee and the Tax Collector.”

The only true way to justification is through humbling ourselves in heartfelt repentance before the living God. We have to confess our sins (1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13). We have to humble ourselves and admit our mistakes, asking God for true justification.

Godly justification doesn’t come by giving a quick answer or proving one’s innocence, but rather through repentance and remaining free from sin. “For not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified” (Romans 2:13).

True justification comes from one place

The apostle Paul wrote, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). All have sinned! But thankfully all can, at some point, receive justification. Where does true justification come from?

“And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification” (Romans 5:16).

One way of life leads to condemnation, but the other leads to justification! But what does justification mean? As pointed out in other articles here at Life, Hope & Truth, it means the declaration that a person or thing is righteous. Are we able to do this ourselves? Absolutely not! “As it is written: ‘There is none righteous, no, not one’” (Romans 3:10). We cannot make ourselves righteous.

True justification can only come from one place—Jesus Christ! “Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life” (Romans 5:18).

Where to go from here

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him” (Romans 5:8-9). Justification comes from the blood of Christ!

True justification begins with us recognizing our need for it. We need the help of Jesus Christ and the help of God’s Holy Spirit to come to the point of seeing ourselves as we really are, and being willing to admit our mistakes and sins.

Justification involves the acceptance of Christ’s blood; it involves having a commitment to living God’s way of life. This commitment is demonstrated through faith, repentance and baptism.

Self-justification is futile! “It is God who justifies” (Romans 8:33).

Learn more about what God wants you to do in our sections on “Repentance” and “Baptism.”

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector

 

Jesus told a story of a tax collector who went to his house justified rather than a religious Pharisee. Why was the tax collector justified?

Jesus Christ often spoke in parables or stories using familiar settings, and He often spoke about various segments of the population.

The parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector is one such story and is found in Luke 18:9-14. Christ “spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others.”

The parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.”

A Pharisee was very religious. He belonged to a sect of the Jews that went to unnecessary extremes in trying to obey the laws. He was very strict in his lifestyle and was often self-righteous and critical of others.

Tax collectors, on the other hand, were considered immoral men. They often grossly overcharged people as they collected taxes for the Roman government. They were not viewed favorably and were often treated with disdain.

Each man’s prayer was different from the other, and it is instructive for us to consider. The Pharisee’s prayer is mentioned first: “The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess’” (verses 11-12).

Remember the reason Christ presented the parable. It was for “those who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others.” The Pharisee’s prayer was exactly that—a self-serving attempt to tell God how righteous he was. It reeked of vanity and ego.

But notice the difference in the prayer of the tax collector: “And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’” (verse 13).

Here was an obvious situation where the man recognized his guilt, and he stood afar off. He acknowledged his sins and asked for God’s mercy. He was asking God to forgive him.

The lesson of the Pharisee and the tax collector

Jesus then tells His audience what they needed to learn from this story: “I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (verse 14).

The tax collector was not justified by any of the deeds of the law, but by his repentant, humble approach before God, by his acknowledgment of sin, and by his faith in God demonstrated by calling upon His mercy for forgiveness.The lesson is that this tax collector went to his home justified (the Pharisee did not). The tax collector was not justified by any of the deeds of the law, but by his repentant, humble approach before God, by his acknowledgment of sin, and by his faith in God demonstrated by calling upon His mercy for forgiveness.

The Bible often speaks of being justified, made free from guilt, by faith. “Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law” (Romans 3:28).

Some people think they can be justified—made righteous and just and innocent in God’s sight—by doing good deeds specified in the law. That was the Pharisee’s attitude, but it was actually the tax collector who was justified by God’s mercy.

Why? What did the tax collector do that the religious Pharisee did not do? The answer is found in Romans 4:5-8: “But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness, just as David also describes the blessedness of the man to whom God imputes righteousness apart from works: ‘Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man to whom the LORD shall not impute sin.’”

The tax collector repented. He acknowledged he was a sinner and asked for God’s mercy, and he was justified.

The conclusion of the Pharisee and the tax collector

In the conclusion of the parable, Christ reminded the audience that “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (verse 14). The tax collector was humble and was in a repentant frame of mind. He was the one justified. The Pharisee was not humble, but was quite proud, and was not justified.

The Bible often speaks of the need to avoid pride. Notice what Solomon wrote about how God views pride: “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate” (Proverbs 8:13). God hates pride.

But God does give grace to the humble. The apostle James wrote: “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble’” (James 4:6). “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up” (verse 10).

The apostle Peter reiterated the same thoughts: “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time” (1 Peter 5:5-6).

The Pharisee and the tax collector were figurative of typical attitudes that are common even in our age today. One man was full of pride and was quite self-righteous. The other was humble; he recognized his sins and asked for God’s mercy and was justified. Which one will you be?

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