Forgiving Yourself?

 

Does God want us to be mired in guilt and regrets, or does He provide a way out of them? What do you need to know about forgiving yourself?

Our past deeds can sometimes weigh very heavily on us. There is no way to travel back in time to undo things we have done in the past, though many of us wish we could.

The apostle Paul’s regrets

Even the great apostle Paul looked at his past with great regret. “For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God” (1 Corinthians 15:9).

Paul wrote these words about 20 years after his persecution of the early Christians, and they indicate that he had by no means forgotten his shameful and destructive actions as a young man. The Bible record shows us that Paul left that life behind and went on to lead a much more constructive and productive life. And, as we will see, he had much to say about forgiveness and not remaining stuck in feelings of guilt.

What can we do when guilt and regret about our past actions keep us from moving on with our lives as we should? How can we learn to leave those things behind and move forward? The Bible doesn’t speak in terms of forgiving ourselves, but it does give a blueprint to follow in freeing ourselves of past guilt and regaining mental health.

We can start by realizing that forgiving, whether it involves forgiving others or forgiving ourselves, is not about condoning wrong actions. It is not about a lack of accountability. It involves understanding that God forgives sinners who turn from their sins and turn to Him, and that God then allows and wants them to move forward.

Manasseh’s guilt

The life of Manasseh, king of Judah, is very instructive about how God views a repentant sinner. Manasseh was the son of righteous King Hezekiah, who was generally considered to be one of the best kings of Judah. Manasseh, on the other hand, was considered to be among the worst. Ironically, his reign over Judah was the longest of any of the kings—55 years!

The Bible lists some of the evil deeds of King Manasseh in 2 Chronicles 33. Verse 2 begins by telling us that Manasseh did evil things in God’s sight. He rebuilt the sites of pagan worship that had been torn down by his father (verse 3). He sacrificed his own children in idol worship and consulted mediums (verse 6). He set up an idol in the temple of God (verse 7).

Verse 9 finishes by saying that Manasseh seduced the people of Judah to do more evil than the pagan surrounding nations had done. That is a terrible indictment!

According to the Jewish historian Josephus, Manasseh was responsible for a great deal of bloodshed among those who tried to follow God: “For by setting out from a contempt of God, he barbarously slew all the righteous men that were among the Hebrews; nor would he spare the prophets, for he every day slew some of them, till Jerusalem was overflown with blood” (Antiquities of the Jews, p. 214).

It is hard to imagine having a more guilt-ridden past than Manasseh!

In time God caused the nation to be taken into captivity by the Assyrians and Manasseh to be carried away in chains (2 Chronicles 33:11). Finally, Manasseh took stock of his actions and repented of his sins (verse 12).

What was God’s response, after the enormity of Manasseh’s sins and wickedness? He saw Manasseh’s change of heart and heard his cries. He “received his entreaty” and restored Manasseh to the throne in Jerusalem (verse 13). Manasseh demonstrated his genuine change of heart by destroying the places of idol worship and rebuilding the altar of God (verses 15-16).

Even the sins of Manasseh were not too great to be forgiven by God!

Forgiveness from God comes first!

We need to first seek the forgiveness of God, as shown by Manasseh’s example. The common denominator among people being forgiven by God, no matter how deplorable their deeds might have been, is repentance (turning from their sins and turning to God).

The Bible describes Manasseh’s repentance: “Now when he was in affliction, he implored the LORD his God, and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers” (2 Chronicles 33:12).

Repentance involves sorrow for past deeds and turning from them to live life differently. In the words of the apostle Paul, “Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30). Paul goes on to say that God has appointed a day when He will judge the entire world.

God’s opinion of us is what will ultimately matter, and He is willing to forgive if we repent. Understanding that should help us move on with our lives, regardless of what we may have done in the past. (For more information about repentance before God, see the article “How to Repent.”)

When we have repented of our sins, God not only forgives them, He also removes them from us. Knowing this is the vital starting point for forgiving yourself.When we have repented of our sins, God not only forgives them, He also removes them from us. Knowing this is the vital starting point for forgiving yourself.

Psalm 103:11-12 explains this wonderful truth about God’s forgiveness: “For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

God’s mercy toward us gives us all the chance to move forward in our lives with a clean slate!

The problem with guilt

Guilt can be a healthy emotion to alert us to the fact that we have made mistakes, and we need to make changes in the way we treat others or changes in the way we live our lives. But if we hang on to feelings of guilt after repentance and after making needed changes, it can become an unhealthy emotion.

Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary gives this definition of guilt: “Feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: morbid self-reproach often manifest in marked preoccupation with the moral correctness of one’s behavior.”

Hanging on to feelings of guilt (whether the offenses are real or imagined) can prevent you from forgiving yourself and moving on with living a productive life. It is important to establish whose opinion really matters and to know how God views us. The apostle Paul explained that God “has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead” (Acts 17:31).

There will be a time for all of us to answer to God and to be judged by Him. For those who are being called today, the time of giving account and being judged is now (1 Peter 4:17). God has made it possible for us to be forgiven of our sins and reconciled to Him by the death of Jesus Christ, through repentance and baptism. (For further information about this, see the article “What Is Baptism?”)

When we have truly repented and been baptized, we are forgiven completely and reconciled to God. Notice Colossians 1:21-22: “And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.”

When God has forgiven us and reconciled us to Himself by the death of His Son, there is no reason to hang on to guilty feelings about anything in our past!

In the words of the apostle Paul: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).

Moving forward

When we have repented of our sins, been baptized and made the necessary changes in our lives, it is time to leave the past behind and move forward. Even after baptism we will always need to be aware of the times we fall short, and we will always have a need to repent of sin when it enters our lives. Our focus, though, should be forward-looking, and we should bear in mind that when God forgives sins, He forgives completely and desires to see us move on.

An encouraging passage from the book of Jeremiah is repeated in the book of Hebrews: “‘This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,’ then He adds, ‘Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more’” (Hebrews 10:16-17).

What about the concept of forgiving yourself? The Bible has shown us that the path to follow is to repent before God, change the path we’re on and be assured that when God forgives, He removes us from our transgressions.

Consider one more passage from the apostle Paul: “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press forward toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

Read more about God’s incredible gift of forgiveness in the article “What Is Forgiveness?”

How to Forgive

 

Learning how to forgive is not only the right thing to do, it is the healthy thing to do. It can also be difficult. But harboring resentment can destroy us.

“To err is human; to forgive, divine” (Alexander Pope). This sounds good in theory, but what about serious trespasses? Can we learn how to forgive those?

Forgiving someone who has hurt or offended us is not the natural human reaction. The natural reaction is to harbor resentment and, sometimes, to try to get even. But learning how to forgive is not only the right thing to do, it is the healthy thing to do. It is also difficult in many cases.

Forgiving someone else boils down to a choice for each of us. Actually choosing to forgive others can be a very challenging thing to do, and it requires thought about some basic concepts. The following ideas can help you learn how to forgive.

Forgiving helps to heal our own human emotions

Forgiving others does not just help to heal their emotional wounds. It helps you in healing yours. According to an article on the Mayo Clinic website, the following benefits can be reaped through forgiveness:

“Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse.”

Letting go of old resentments and ill will frees you mentally to go on with your life, embracing positive emotions and experiences.

For more information on how to let go of resentment and grudges, read our blog post “How to Hold a Grudge (and Stay Unhappy the Rest of Your Life).”

Realize that forgiving does not mean that injustice will go unpunished

Forgiving is not synonymous with excusing wrong or hurtful actions on the part of others, and it does not mean that injustice will go unpunished forever. God is the One who ultimately decides what is fair and when justice will be done.

Consider this statement from 2 Corinthians 5:10: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.”

In the short term, things often seem unfair. The old saying “cheaters never prosper” often does not ring true when we observe the actions of others around us. And when people do us wrong, God does not want us to take vengeance or retribution on them.

Notice the instruction Paul gave us in Romans 12:18-19: “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

The fact is that God is patient and does not mete out punishment the instant a wrong is done. Note this statement from Matthew 5:45: “That you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

In His own time and manner, God will righteously judge all for their actions. When we choose to forgive another person, it does not condone wrong or hurtful actions, it just means that we have chosen to let go, move on with our lives and leave things in God’s hands.

Learning how to forgive is the right thing to do

Jesus Christ’s teachings constantly point us toward forgiving others for their offenses against us. When Peter asked how many times he should forgive someone, he asked if he should forgive seven times. Presumably Peter may have thought that number was more than adequate.

Christ responded by telling Peter to forgive “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22). The clear principle is that we should be willing to go on forgiving, and that there are no limits on how many times we should forgive.

In another passage, Christ gave the parable of the unforgiving servant. The account is found in Matthew 18:23-35. In the parable, there is a servant who is unable to repay a very large debt, so his master commands that he be sold into slavery, along with his family, in order to repay it. The servant begs for mercy and receives it (verses 23-27). Upon being forgiven, however, the servant goes out to ruthlessly collect much smaller debts owed to him, showing no mercy at all (verses 28-31).

Christ gave His own sinless life to forgive our sins! And while He was dying at the hands of His persecutors, He cried out to the Father asking Him to “forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”In verses 32-33, the master pronounces his judgment on this servant who didn’t learn how to forgive: “Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?”’ The master then had him delivered to “the torturers” until all his debts could be paid.

Jesus Christ’s example of forgiving

Christ gave His own sinless life to forgive our sins! And while He was dying at the hands of His persecutors, He cried out to the Father asking Him to “forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” This was a profound statement and example for all of us!

Many times, people cause harm without really thinking or knowing it was wrong. If a person really knew it was wrong to cause offense, he or she would have most likely not committed the act.

Notice what Paul wrote to the Corinthians after Christ’s resurrection: “But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory” (1 Corinthians 2:7-8).

The truth of God is hidden from most people today, and the values and morals of God are not understood by most. So, a very important step in the forgiveness process is to follow Christ’s example: “Forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

Ephesians 4:31-32 summarizes this very well: “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Realize that harboring anger and resentment can destroy you

Here is another quote from the Mayo Clinic website about the destructiveness of harboring anger and refusing to forgive:

“If you’re unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present.”

Paul tells us in the book of Ephesians that anger can give Satan a chance to work on our minds if we do not forgive and let go:

“‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Ephesians 4:25-26). Paul is quoting from Psalm 4:4 in this passage: “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.” Do not let anger control you!

The healthy mind chooses to let go of negative emotions and anger.

Choose to forgive!

Forgiving comes down to a matter of personal choice. Many people choose not to forgive because they have the feeling that the wrongdoing will go unpunished or because an injustice will never be righted if something is not done about it.

In fact, if you refuse to forgive and move on, you may actually punish yourself more than what the offending party has done to you. Consider the benefits and positive outcomes described above, and do yourself a favor. Choose to forgive!

Grudges

 

For broken relationships to heal, both parties must be willing to forgive and move on. What if you are willing to forgive, but the other party holds grudges?

Forgiving is a gift each can give to another, but you cannot make somebody else forgive you. Ultimately, both parties have to make that choice.

Avoid making things worse if you can

There is a biblical principle that may prevent resentment and anger in the first place. Notice Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Deflecting anger with inoffensive or mild responses can be difficult in the moment, but it will pay dividends in the long run.

Harsh words spoken during tense or difficult times make forgiveness and reconciliation much more difficult for the offended party. Proverbs 18:19 sums this up as follows: “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Defusing the situation early on makes things much easier all the way around.

Settle quickly

In Matthew 5:25 Jesus Christ said: “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.”

If much time passes with no resolution in a contentious situation, hard feelings can often set in. Efforts to resolve things later become more difficult and new problems can cause old feelings to boil over more easily.

Grudges: A case study

The biblical story of Jacob and Esau is familiar to most Bible readers. Jacob and Esau were the sons of Isaac. Esau, as the elder son, stood to receive the firstborn’s share of the inheritance from Isaac. Jacob (aided by his mother) used a tremendous amount of deceit in order to steal this birthright inheritance from his brother. The story is told in Genesis 27.

What Jacob did was not a small thing. It was not as though he had borrowed something from his brother and neglected to return it. This inheritance would give Jacob the best things in life, including mastery over his brother Esau (Genesis 27:28-29). Esau’s reaction to what Jacob had done was nothing less than a bitter rage.

In fact, Jacob had to flee the area because Esau planned to kill him (Genesis 27:41). Verses 42-44 contain the advice of Jacob’s mother: “Surely your brother Esau comforts himself concerning you by intending to kill you. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice: arise, flee to my brother Laban in Haran. And stay with him a few days, until your brother’s fury turns away, until your brother’s anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him.”

In fact, at least 20 years went by before Jacob saw Esau again. What was Jacob to do when he finally saw Esau again?

Jacob’s efforts at making peace

In Genesis 32 Jacob was returning home and had to pass through land occupied by Esau and his family, as well as Esau’s servants. In verse 6, Jacob was informed by his servants that Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men. Jacob feared Esau’s intentions. Obviously, a group of 400 men was more than what would be needed for a welcoming party!

The plan Jacob devised involved offering an olive branch of peace to Esau. In fact, he offered a succession of olive branches, with a little time between each offering, thus hoping Esau would calm down and rethink any anger he may have been feeling.

Notice in Genesis 32:13-15 the presents that Jacob gave to Esau: 200 female goats, 20 male goats, 200 ewes and 20 rams, 30 milk camels with colts, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys and 10 donkey foals. That was quite a present!

Jacob’s instructions to the men delivering the presents are found in verse 16: “Then he delivered them to the hand of his servants, every drove by itself, and said to his servants, ‘Pass over before me, and put some distance between successive droves.’”

Jacob also instructed the servants to refer to Esau as “my lord” and to refer to Jacob as “your servant” (verses 17-20). When Jacob finally met Esau in Genesis 33, Jacob bowed seven times before Esau as a sign of respect.

The Bible does not tell us what Esau had intended to do to Jacob, but after the spaced succession of gifts and many signs of respect from Jacob, here was Esau’s reaction: “But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept” (Genesis 33:4). Whatever his intentions had been, Esau showed love and forgiveness.

What can we learn about overcoming grudges?

Jacob was no doubt a wealthy man, and he could afford to offer presents beyond the means of most of us. The value of the gifts, however, was not the important thing in this situation. The important thing was Jacob’s humility and his willingness to be the peacemaker.

We have to be willing to take the lead in reconciliation, swallowing our own pride and holding our temper when needed. We have to overcome our own grudges and desire for revenge and be willing to offer the olive branch. This will not always guarantee forgiveness and a healed relationship, but the biblical instructions we have seen tell us that we must be willing to try!

For more insight on the importance of overcoming grudges, read our blog post “How to Hold a Grudge (and Stay Unhappy the Rest of Your Life).”

What Is Forgiveness of Sins?

 

The Bible teaches us that God is quick to forgive us of our sins. But what does it mean to forgive? How do we ask God for forgiveness, and why is it important?

The Bible tells us that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). It also tells us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

This is a problem.

Because we’ve all sinned, we’ve all earned the “wages” of sin: eternal death (not an eternity in hell).

This is a problem for us, but it’s also a problem for God, who is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). God doesn’t want us to perish, but because of our individual sins, we will perish—and in the process, God will be deprived of the children He created with the potential to join His family (John 1:12).

Isaiah the prophet wrote, “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear” (Isaiah 59:1-2).

There’s only one solution to this problem:

Forgiveness.

What is forgiveness? What does it mean to forgive?

Forgiveness is a simple concept, and without it, Christianity can’t exist. Without forgiveness, we remain “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1). But that’s not what God wants for us. He’s aware of our human weaknesses: “As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). When we sin, we have the ability to ask God for forgiveness.

Confessing our sins requires more than just admitting that we’ve sinned or feeling sorry for our sins. It requires us to take responsibility for our actions and actively seek to change that aspect of our identity. This is a process known as repentance. The Greek word for “repent,” metanoeó, literally refers to a change of mind and of purpose.

Repentance is a change of heart and change of direction. It involves a determination to stop sinning and not to sin in the future.

After we confess our sins to God and repent of them, the Bible says that God does two things: He forgives them, and He cleanses us from all unrighteousness. When God forgives our sins, He removes them from us forever—they will never again be associated with us. “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness,” He tells us, “and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12).

Once God has forgiven us of a sin, He treats us as if that sin never happened. A psalmist put it this way: “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:10-12).

How to ask God for forgiveness

There is no elaborate “forgiveness prayer” we must pray to receive God’s forgiveness, but the Bible does give us examples of how to ask for it:

• In the model prayer, Jesus taught His disciples to ask God to “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).
• In the parable of the tax collector, the tax collector, “standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’” (Luke 18:13).
• Daniel acknowledged, “O Lord, to us belongs shame of face, to our kings, our princes, and our fathers, because we have sinned against You. To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against Him” (Daniel 9:8-9).
• King David came to a heavy realization: “I have sinned against the LORD” (2 Samuel 12:13), later asking God to “hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities” (Psalm 51:9).

When we sin, we have the ability to come before God in prayer, admit our sins, and ask for His forgiveness. “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16).

The cost of forgiveness of sins

As we noted earlier, sin comes with a price—namely, death (Romans 6:23). Part of the forgiveness process is paying that price. Although God is willing to forgive our sins, He is not willing to waive the penalty for sin.

Under the Old Covenant, God’s people were instructed to offer animal sacrifices to atone for their sins. In the New Testament, we are told that these sacrifices pointed toward the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ:

“Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins . . .

“For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf. Nor was it to offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself” (Hebrews 9:22, 24-26, English Standard Version).

When Jesus came to this earth, He died “to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). This one perfect sacrifice of the Son of God, who lived without sin, is enough to pay the penalty of all sins.

Are all sins forgiven?

God will not forgive the sins we refuse to repent of. He will not overlook the sins we continue to commit without shame or remorse. However, He will forgive any sin we genuinely repent of.Although Christ’s sacrifice can pay the penalty of all sins, it does not automatically pay the penalty of all sins. The Bible is clear that we must repent of our sins before we can be forgiven of them.

The apostle John sums up sin, repentance and God’s forgiveness this way: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us” (1 John 1:9-10). God will forgive our sins when we admit them to Him and seek forgiveness.

The apostle Peter explained the process this way: “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38).

Repentance—that is, a genuine desire to change our ways—leads us to baptism. When we are baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, we are baptized into His death (Romans 6:3)—and His death pays the penalty of our sins.

But baptism is more than just an event—it’s a commitment. Paul wrote that Christ “died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Corinthians 5:15).

Accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ as payment for our sins opens the door to forgiveness, but it also means committing ourselves to living His way of life.

Does God forgive all sins?

There is no sin God cannot forgive—although there is a sin He will not forgive. This is often referred to as the “unpardonable sin.” If we knowingly and willingly reject God and His way of life—if we refuse to repent of our sins and seek to change our ways—then “there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins” (Hebrews 10:26).

God will not forgive the sins we refuse to repent of. He will not overlook the sins we continue to commit without shame or remorse.

However, He will forgive any sin we genuinely repent of. Remember: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

All unrighteousness. Not some unrighteousness. All of it. God forgives adultery. He forgives murder. He forgives repeated sins. If we come to Him, repentant and desiring to change, He can and will forgive all our sins through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

King David and Bathsheba

The life of King David shows this principle in action. David committed some terrible sins—most notably during his affair with Bathsheba, wife of Uriah. In a short time frame, David broke many of God’s commandments: he lusted after another man’s wife, he committed adultery with her, he attempted to deceive Uriah about the resulting pregnancy—and when that failed, he effectively signed Uriah’s death warrant, ultimately taking Bathsheba as his own wife.

Covetousness, adultery, lies, murder and theft. David had done some awful things, abusing the royal authority God had entrusted to him. It took a wake-up call from a prophet before David saw the enormity of his sins: “So David said to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the LORD.’ And Nathan said to David, ‘The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die’” (2 Samuel 12:13).

Psalm 51 gives greater insight into David’s process of repentance. He petitioned God, “Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin . . . Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me” (Psalm 51:1-2, 10-11).

God answered that prayer. Although David still suffered serious fallout from his actions (2 Samuel 12:10-12), he was brought back into a relationship with God. Centuries after David’s death, God still considered him to be “a man after My own heart” (Acts 13:22)—not because of his sins, but because of his desire to leave his sins behind and be more like God.

When we repent, there is no sin God will not forgive.

God expects us to forgive others

Once God forgives us, we must also forgive others for their sins and offenses against us. Christ’s model prayer, often called the Lord’s Prayer, clearly explains what is required of us: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

The word debts used above is the Greek word opheilema. It is defined in Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words as “that which is legally due . . . metaphorically, of sin as a debt, because it demands expiation, and thus payment by way of punishment” (1997, p. 269).

When God forgives us, He removes that sin and the penalty of death that would have resulted. So, as God forgives us, we need to forgive others in like manner.

Peter asked Jesus, “‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven’” (Matthew 18:21-22, emphasis added).

God doesn’t put a limit on how many times He’ll forgive us—and we shouldn’t have a limit on how many times we’ll forgive others.

God’s nature is one of mercy: “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy” (Psalm 103:8). He isn’t eagerly hoping for the opportunity to punish us for our sins. He wants to forgive us. When we acknowledge and repent of our sins—when we come before God and seek His forgiveness—He is quick to forgive and offer His abundant mercy to us.

In return, God requires that we show the same forgiving attitude toward our fellow human beings. Matthew 6:14-15 sums up God’s approach to us and our sins: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Forgiveness is a vital part of God’s plan for us. When He forgives us, we can leave our sins behind and become more like Him. And as we become more like Him, we learn to extend that same forgiveness to others. Following a God who is abundant in mercy means we have to learn to be abundant in our mercy too.

Forgiveness: How Can We Be Forgiven?

 

The perfect, holy God abhors sin and evil, yet His beloved human creation has succumbed to sin. Every human being has sinned, and this terrible blotch has separated us from the righteous God.

Thankfully, God had a plan. Jesus Christ was willing to come to earth and pay our death penalty for us. Because of that, God is willing to forgive our sins, which are paid for by Christ’s shed blood: “In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:14).

As God forgives our sins, He expects us to forgive others. We are to pray asking God to “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

After Jesus was crucified, He asked God to “forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). Jesus asked the Father to forgive those who had just beaten and crucified Him! That is a powerful example He set for all of us. Christ taught that we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” times and from the heart (Matthew 18:22, 35 ).

Read more about God’s incredible forgiveness, and the forgiveness we should practice, in the related articles.