Does God Forget Our Sins?

 

Our loving God offers to forgive our sins. He wants us to learn to forgive. But does He actually totally forget our sins? Does He expect us to forgive and forget?

Forgive and forget is a common phrase in English, which some date back to the 1300s. Many also believe it is biblical. Some believe God forgives and forgets, and that we should too.

But does God forget our sins? If so, why did someone like David, who repented and was forgiven, still have to face the consequences of his sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:13-14)?

It is common to believe that once God forgives our sins He also completely forgets them. Our sins are often quite embarrassing and troubling to us, and since we want to forget them, we want God to forget them too. But is that exactly what the Bible says happens?

The implications of forgive and forget

There are actually two parts to this question:

1. Once we have repented, does God purge His memory of any and all sins so that forgiven transgressions do not exist in His mind and cannot ever be recalled?

2. God is our example in everything, including forgiveness. So, if true forgiveness required us to purge a memory from our minds, would it then mean we have not truly forgiven if we still recalled an offense or sin against us?

Jesus Christ stated, “But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:26). Therefore this question is an important one for us to answer and have correct.

Does the Bible say God will forgive and forget?

One of the greatest truths of the Bible is that God loved us so much He gave His only begotten Son for us (John 3:16). Jesus Christ sacrificed His life to pay for our sins in order to forgive us when we repent. God is a merciful God, and He will remove our sins “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12; read more about God’s forgiveness in our article “What Is Forgiveness?”).

God clearly forgives. But many have asked if He really does completely forget. There are several passages that seem to indicate that God does indeed remove all knowledge of repented sins from His mind:

• Psalm 25:7: “Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; according to Your mercy remember me, for Your goodness’ sake, O LORD.”
• Jeremiah 31:34: “No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”
• Ezekiel 18:22: “None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live.”
• Hebrews 8:12 (which is a quote of Jeremiah 31:34 and is repeated in Hebrews 10:17): “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

However, consider that the Bible nowhere says God will forget our sins, only that He will not remember them. This distinction becomes clear when we understand what the Hebrew words for “remember” and “forget” really mean.

Meaning of remember in the Bible

In English, the word remember generally focuses on the idea of recalling memories or bringing past matters to mind. Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “to bring to mind or think of again.”

In English, to forget is the exact opposite—to fail to be able to bring a memory to mind or, as Merriam-Webster’s says, “to lose the remembrance of: be unable to think of or recall.” It is entirely a mental exercise, whether or not information is present.

In Hebrew, it is not that way.

The primary word for “remember” in Hebrew is zakar, but the meaning is much broader than the common definition in English. It includes both bringing a thought to mind and the actions that are taken as a result of remembering. It can often imply that a person did a favor for someone or honored a promise or covenant. For example, note the following two verses where zakar is used:

• “Then God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the animals that were with him in the ark. And God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters subsided” (Genesis 8:1).
• “Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb” (Genesis 30:22).

Obviously, God did not forget about either Noah or Rachel, but He “remembered” in that He took action and intervened in their lives.

Meaning of forget in the Bible

There are two primary words for “forget” in Hebrew: shakach and nashah. But they are not exact opposites of zakar. To forget in Hebrew also means to ignore, neglect, forsake or act in willful disregard of a person or promise. Israel was warned often not to forget God, as in Deuteronomy 4:23:

“Take heed to yourselves, lest you forget the covenant of the LORD your God which He made with you, and make for yourselves a carved image in the form of anything which the LORD your God has forbidden you.”

To forget the covenant was more than just erasing the memory of it, but included the actions of forsaking and disregarding it.

So when God said He would “utterly forget you and forsake you, and the city that I gave you and your fathers, and will cast you out of My presence” (Jeremiah 23:39), He was saying that He would no longer honor the covenant with them because they had broken it. God would cease to intervene on their behalf—not erase knowledge of them from His memory.

God chooses not to remember

Choosing not to remember means God will not take action against us because of sins we have repented of. He deliberately chooses not to exact due punishment for our sins, but treats us with grace and forgiveness.If we understand the language in which the Bible was written (the Greek wording of the New Testament carries a similar distinction in meanings), we can see that when God chooses never to remember our sins again, it means He has chosen to purge them from our record, or treat us as if the sins never existed.

Since remembering implies actions (in this case vengeance and punishment), then choosing not to remember means God will not take action against us because of sins we have repented of. He deliberately chooses not to exact due punishment for our sins, but treats us with grace and forgiveness.

If God does indeed remove all knowledge of our sins from His mind, then how did He inspire the Bible to be written, including the sins of David, Abraham, Joseph, Peter, Paul, etc., long after the men had sinned, repented and in some cases died?

And what about David’s punishment? Why did God still allow the death of David’s son after He had forgiven David’s sin? Because we find that punishment is a powerful learning tool, and God never promises to remove from us the natural consequences of our sins. David needed to learn the lesson so powerfully he would never repeat it. And those who saw David’s actions also needed to learn. Frankly, we still need to learn that lesson today!

Can we forgive and forget?

To sum this all up, how are we expected to apply these principles? Human beings do not have the ability to completely erase many of our experiences from our memories. Small offenses and slights will generally disappear from our memories with time, but large and serious offenses generally will not.

For a human being to forgive as God forgives means that we choose to lay aside our grievances and the “debt” we may feel we are owed due to wrongs that were committed against us. Read “When Forgiveness Isn’t Easy.”

The big difference is that God can do this perfectly, while we, as humans, may need to do this over and over again as the memory and pain return to our minds (the principle of forgiving 70 times seven in Matthew 18:22). Perhaps in the Kingdom we will be able to do this perfectly as God does.

In the meantime, it takes much more love to be hurt and choose to set aside grievances multiple times than it would to erase an incident from our memories (if that were possible). And interestingly, the more we love one another, the easier it becomes to lay aside grievances and truly forgive as God forgives us.

Learn more about forgiveness in the other related articles in this section.

John 20:23: Did Jesus Give Authority to Forgive Sins?

 

Did Jesus give His apostles authority to forgive or not forgive sins? If so, did that carry over to His ministers today? Who is really able to forgive sins?

After His resurrection, Jesus told the disciples, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23).

The majority of Bible translations use similar wording here, making it sound like God has given the ministry of the Church the authority to forgive or retain sins. This perception has been more prevalent in the Catholic Church.

The proper translation of John 20:23

One of the few translations that reflect key Greek nuances here is the New American Standard Bible: “If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained” (emphasis added throughout).

The NASB Hebrew-Greek Key Study Bible adds the following marginal note: “have previously been forgiven” (Spiros Zodhiates, Th.D.).

Therefore, the NASB better reflects the fact that these individuals’ sins will have already been forgiven or retained by God before the apostles’ recognition of the same. This is not just a matter of picking a translation that says what we want it to say. The word forgiven is in the perfect tense.

Glossary of Morpho-Syntactic Database Terminology explains the perfect tense as follows:

“The verb tense used by the writer to describe a completed verbal action that occurred in the past but which produced a state of being or a result that exists in the present (in relation to the writer).”

Jesus’ words in John 20:23 were stated immediately after alluding to a tool in this process that that would be new to them: “He breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’” (verse 22).

Of course, they didn’t have God’s Spirit dwelling in them until several weeks later on Pentecost (John 14:17).

Nevertheless, this tool would allow the apostles to make Spirit-led judgments. Christ’s breathing on them was symbolic of their receiving God’s Spirit. And verse 23 represents the fruit of God’s Spirit, that is, they will be inspired to either pardon or discipline people according to what has already been bound by God.

At the same time, God never binds anything that truly contradicts His will or approval.

For example, Paul determined that Church members in Corinth shouldn’t have tolerated the man involved in sexual immorality with his stepmother: “Your glorying is not good” (1 Corinthians 5:1-6).

However, about a year later, Paul told them that the man’s punishment and repentance were “sufficient” for them to “forgive and comfort him” (2 Corinthians 2:6-7).

Both the punishment and pardon were Spirit-led judgments.

Binding and loosing in Matthew 18:18 and Matthew 16:19

The same principle and Greek grammar are found in Matthew 18:18: “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

Several other translations bring out the proper meaning here:

• “Whatever you forbid ... on earth must be what is already forbidden in heaven” (Amplified Bible).
• “Whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven” (English Majority Text).
• “Whatever you bind on the earth will be, having been bound in Heaven” (Literal Translation Version).
• “Whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven” (NASB).

Likewise, this principle and Greek grammar apply to the wording in Matthew 16:19.

The proper translation of these three accounts underscores that God determines that which is bound or loosed, as opposed to leaving such decisions solely in the hands of men.The proper translation of these three accounts underscores that God determines that which is bound or loosed, as opposed to leaving such decisions solely in the hands of men.

Consider the Old Testament model of judgment

Some of Israel’s leaders (elders, judges, kings, officers, etc.) received God’s Spirit (Numbers 11:16-17).

Moses expressed the following during the early stages of the administrative system of judges: “You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small as well as the great; you shall not be afraid in any man’s presence, for the judgment is God’s. The case that is too hard for you, bring to me, and I will hear it” (Deuteronomy 1:17).

When a judgment is Spirit-led, then the “judgment is God’s.” The same was true for the judgments that Moses would make in the more difficult cases brought to him.

This reality was even more applicable for the New Testament apostles, who, in compliance with John 20:23, would judge an entire body that—for the first time—would be comprised of Spirit-filled members (God’s Church).

Only God can fully forgive sin

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). God’s forgiveness is supreme in that He cleanses one from sin or “blots out your transgressions” (Isaiah 43:25). This authority is reserved for God. As Mark 2:7 states, “Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

Now, as Christians, we should “forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12), but this falls short of clearing one’s sins. Our forgiveness involves letting go of grudges, “lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15). And this can be extended repeatedly—the implied meaning of “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). (Study more about this in our articles “How to Forgive” and “Grudges.”)

Nevertheless, we don’t have divine authority to both forgive and cleanse anyone’s sins—only God can do that.

The judgment is God’s

God doesn’t wait to see whom men will forgive before He forgives a person’s sins (upon repentance). Instead, God’s leadership strives to come to Spirit-led judgments, representing outcomes that God will have already determined as right or wrong.

Ultimately, the judgment is God’s!

Study more about judgment, repentance and forgiveness in our articles “Judgment of God: The Real Story,” “How to Repent” and “What Is Forgiveness?”

No Regrets?

 

The not-so-good decisions in our lives can stay with us for years. Even after the effects have worn off, regrets can remain. Thankfully, there are steps we can take to live without regrets.

It’s easy to regret those “I can’t believe I did that” moments. And it’s not wrong to regret mistakes. However, a problem develops when regrets take control of our life.

Not-so-good decisions

Bad decisions can cause regrets. Decisions like lying, premarital sex, theft or even murder can, and most certainly should, cause regret. Whether we’re rich or poor, famous or an average Joe or Jane, we’re all susceptible to regrets when we make not-so-good decisions.

David was chosen by God to be king over Israel. God sought David specifically (Acts 13:22). Yet David made major mistakes as king—mistakes that displeased God and caused David great regret. Through his actions, David committed adultery with a faithful servant’s wife, signed that faithful servant’s death sentence to hide his own guilt and so made a widow of that servant’s wife. He broke God’s commandments and ultimately brought about the death of his own son (2 Samuel 12:9-18).

David had a legitimate reason to harbor regrets.

And unfortunately, David wasn’t the only chosen individual to make regretful decisions.

Persecutor

How would you like to be remembered as the most notorious person ever to persecute the Church?

Saul, later known as the apostle Paul, was that persecutor. Saul approved of Stephen being stoned to death and also “made havoc of the church” (Acts 8:3). Many in the early Church were imprisoned, and some were put to death, all because of Saul’s persecution (Acts 9:1; 26:10).

If anyone had a reason to be filled with lasting regret, it was the man who became the apostle Paul!

So why wasn’t he?

How did Paul surmount the regrets of his past? And how did David overcome the regretful tragedies he triggered?

Overcoming regrets

First, let’s look at David. He could have allowed the effects of his bad decisions to separate him from God—but he didn’t. David took his regrets to God.

What did David do when he had that “I can’t believe I did that” moment? David humbled himself before God. The prayer of David in Psalm 51 shows us three primary steps to removing regrets. These steps are:

• Acknowledgment: David confessed he had sinned against God. He also admitted that God was a just and blameless judge, which is important for us to remember when we suffer the consequences of our bad decisions (verses 3-4).
• Repentance: David began his prayer by asking for mercy—for forgiveness. David realized he couldn’t recover and move forward without God’s help. He needed God to cleanse him from his sin (verses 1-2). We, too, need to ask for God’s forgiveness, and the forgiveness of those affected, when we make mistakes that cause offense (1 John 1:9).
• Commitment: David asked God to deliver him from his guilt and restore his joy. In return, he would praise God’s righteousness and teach others to do the same (Psalm 51:12-15). To remove regret, we must change—be converted—and understand that our righteous Father has given us new life and then strive to become a positive example to others through our words and actions. These examples will go a long way toward helping those affected by our wrong decisions to heal and have forgiveness as well. For a better understanding of forgiveness, see the sidebar “Six Steps to Forgiveness.”

David overcame regret through his faith in God’s forgiveness and the understanding of his calling to be a righteous example to all.

From persecutor to apostle

So how did Paul live a life without unbearable regrets?

Paul acknowledged his past (1 Corinthians 15:9). He also recognized that his calling was not by his own deeds but by the “grace of God” that helped him to labor “more abundantly” (verse 10). Paul’s true repentance and acceptance of God’s Holy Spirit allowed him to see past himself—to see God’s plan for his life.

The difference between repentance and regret is that repentance leads to physical and spiritual change, while regret only leads to remorse and guilt.Without true repentance, Paul would have only been left with regret. The difference between repentance and regret is that repentance leads to physical and spiritual change, while regret only leads to remorse and guilt. “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

Paul found a way to move beyond regrets by repenting and then accepting that the old things had passed away through Jesus Christ’s forgiveness (2 Corinthians 5:16-19). Paul put his past behind him and kept his eyes on what he could change, not the things he couldn’t (Philippians 3:13).

Hope for living without regrets

The steps taken by David to overcome his regrets are the same steps taken by the apostle Paul to move beyond his past. We, too, have the ability to follow these same steps.

Yes, regrets have a way of sticking around far longer than the mistakes that cause them. Regrets can also make us feel worthless or unable to make amends. The great news is that there’s hope for moving past our regrets. We must accept the fact that we’ve messed up—that we’ve negatively affected the lives of others, our own lives and, most important, our relationship with our Father in heaven. We must ask our gracious, just Creator for forgiveness, as well as ask for forgiveness from others we’ve affected. And we must have faith in God’s mercy.

We all make bad decisions. It’s what we do afterward that determines the direction of our life. We’re not condemned to live a life of self-loathing with no hope of clemency—if, that is, we move forward, striving to be better, striving to overcome, striving to live each day as a righteous example to others. By following these steps, we can truly remove regrets.

 

Sidebar: Six Steps to Forgiveness

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed to ask for forgiveness from God and others? Here are a few steps to remember:

• Accept responsibility: The first step in obtaining forgiveness is admitting we did something wrong. Too often people fall into the denial or “blame game” mind-set when they do something that affects others. God’s Word tells us, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
• Repent: Once we’ve admitted we made a mistake, our next step should be to go to God. Nothing is more important than letting our Father know we realize we messed up and want to be right with Him. We must express godly sorrow and ask to have our sins covered by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. To repent means to change—to show determination not to repeat the sinful thoughts and actions.
• Ask for forgiveness: Asking someone to forgive us for what might be a serious situation can be stressful and even frightening. When faced with the daunting task of asking for forgiveness, remember the words recorded by the apostle Paul: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Asking God for help and peace during this task can make asking others for forgiveness easier.
• Be reconciled: The act of being reconciled or making restitution is a key element to forgiveness. Scripture shows us the importance of making things right with our brother before we can have a right relationship with our Heavenly Father (Matthew 5:23-24). Restitution can take many forms. It might mean restoring money or personal property or even trying to mend the pain caused by hurtful words. Whatever can be done to correct a situation must be done, or the other person is not likely to forgive and reconcile.
• Pray for a forgiving heart: Just because we follow the previous steps doesn’t mean the person we’ve offended will be ready and willing to forgive us. It’s important to also pray for the other party to have a forgiving heart. The prayers of the righteous can have a positive effect (see our online article “Five Keys to Answered Prayers”).
• Accept the outcome: We can follow every step for forgiveness and still not be able to wipe away the hurt feelings and mistrust the other person experiences. He or she may still lack the willingness to forgive us. If this is the case, and we’ve done everything in our power to make the situation right, then the rest is up to God. God heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds (Psalm 147:3), but everyone has the responsibility of going to God for healing. At this point our responsibility is to continue to pray for the right mind-set in everyone involved (including ourselves) and to show the right example moving forward.

Forgiveness is a godly trait. Our Father shows us forgiveness when we seek it properly, and He also provides guidance on how to give and receive forgiveness. Forgiveness is a key element of God’s plan for humanity. Study more in our online articles “How to Repent” and “What Is Forgiveness?”

Would We Forgive the Prodigal Son?

 

The parable of the prodigal son shows a forgiving father receiving his lost son back into the family. The older son was not so forgiving. What would we have done?

One of the longest parables recounted in the Gospels is the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. The word prodigal (found in verse 13 of the New King James Version) is translated from a Greek word meaning wildly extravagant and indulgent. But more recent translations, such as the New King James Version, use the word lost in the subtitle to the parable to describe the son’s moral condition.

Our article “The Prodigal Son: A Parable With Overlooked Meaning” focuses on Jesus Christ’s call to repentance and God the Father’s incredible ability to forgive our sins. This article, on the other hand, considers the lessons for all of us when we contrast the older brother’s bitterness with his father’s mercy.

The setting of the parable

Prior to looking at the parable itself, we need to understand the context.

Some of those who were following Jesus were already dedicated disciples, but others were undecided. So Jesus challenged them. He explained that to become disciples, they had to be willing to love, commit to and follow Him above anything else.

He began with two analogies to illustrate the level of commitment we must have to finish our spiritual training. The first analogy describes how a builder must make sure he has the finances to build a tower, and the other shows how a king must evaluate whether his army is strong enough to go to war (Luke 14:28-32).

Verse 33 gives the level of commitment needed—total dedication to the cause.

Parables on repentance and forgiveness

The next chapter begins by mentioning deep cultural divisions within Jesus’ audience (Luke 15:1-2). Sinners and tax collectors were despised by the elite of society, yet they were the primary ones to gather around Jesus. The Pharisees and scribes—leaders in the community and teachers of the law—seemed to keep their distance as they criticized Jesus for mixing with these sinners.

Jesus Christ calls these leaders hypocrites (Greek for “play actors”). They look good on the outside, but “inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence” and self-righteousness (Matthew 23:25). His message to them was “first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also” (verse 26). This would mean truly turning to God the Father in repentance.

Luke 15 first gives the parable of the lost sheep (verses 4-7) and then provides the parable of the lost coin (verses 8-10). Both show the importance of Christ’s call to “repent, and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). Angels in heaven are overjoyed to see the change in a person who is coming to repentance (Luke 15:7, 10). God the Father, too, is happy and willing to accept those who repent. He is a forgiving Father!

He wants us to be forgiving. In the model prayer Jesus encourages us to call upon our Father, saying, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).And He wants us to be forgiving. In the model prayer Jesus encourages us to call upon our Father, saying, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

So, understanding this context can help us to see the failings of the older brother in the next parable, the parable of the lost son. After all, the lessons Jesus was conveying not only applied to the Pharisees and scribes, but also to us today.

Dividing the inheritance

Luke 15:11-32 focuses on a father and his two sons, and the relationships between them. The parallel between the two sons and the two groups of listeners becomes clear as the story draws to a conclusion.

The younger son wanted to leave home and go to another land. He needed cash to move out, and so asked for the goods that fell to him. These normally would have been bestowed upon him at the time of his father’s death. But his father obliged and gave him his inheritance early. We read in verse 13 that the younger son soon “wasted his possessions with prodigal living”—a wild lifestyle.

The younger son’s attitude toward both his inheritance and his father showed a lack of maturity and wisdom, but he learned a huge lesson through the experiences that followed and finally returned home humble and repentant (verses 14-19). The father was so overjoyed when he saw his son return that he kissed him and made a sumptuous feast for him (verses 20-24).

The older son

The older son, however, was not pleased. Though all the remaining wealth of his father would be his (verse 31), he was angry that his father showed mercy to his brother, but had never given him what his brother received. In verse 29 he says, “Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends.”

The older son did not understand his compassionate father, just as the scribes and Pharisees—who maintained a righteous facade—did not understand Jesus and the Father, who had compassion for “sinners and tax collectors.”

And the elder brother showed no compassion for his younger sibling. Even before meeting him, the older son accused his younger brother of having “devoured your [his father’s] livelihood with harlots” (verse 30).

The father reminded the oldest son that he still had his inheritance. And the father made it clear that though the younger brother had squandered his portion of the family’s resources, he was to be accepted back as a member of the family (verse 32).

Like the older brother, the Pharisees and scribes acted as if they had never disobeyed the law and were God’s agents to rule over Judah. Yet Christ pointed out many times how their interpretation of the law and additions to it actually caused people to break God’s law (see Mark 7:9-13, for example). They also wanted to act as spiritual policemen by building a body of dos and don’ts to keep others from sinning.

At the end of the parable, we are not told the result of the father’s discussion with the older brother. But those sitting around Jesus, and hopefully some of the scribes and Pharisees, may have perceived how His remarks applied to them.

God can show mercy and forgiveness to people from any background if they are repentant, as the lost son certainly was.

Lessons for us

Here are three points to learn from this parable—and specifically from the failings of the older brother—to help us become more like Jesus Christ:

1. Prevention is better than cure.

James 5:19-20 encourages us to watch out for each other when one of us begins to go astray. “Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.”

The parable does not indicate that the older brother tried to dissuade his brother from wasting much of his life and his inheritance. But we should try—without being domineering or self-righteous—to help others avoid pitfalls that could lead them to lose their inheritance. Gentle correction can be effective when a trusting and considerate relationship is already present.

1. Christians who threw in the towel may yet return to the fold.

Galatians 6:1-2 shows how we, as Christians, should be concerned about our spiritual brothers and sisters: “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

The older brother focused on how his brother had brought disrepute on the family name. Perhaps we have seen people leave our church family to live life in this world. What do we think of them? If they came back, how would we receive them? Would we be harsh and unforgiving toward them as the older brother was? Or will we welcome them back?

1. Our relationship with our Father is enriched through gratitude.

At one point both brothers failed to see themselves as beneficiaries of their father’s generosity, warmth and compassion. We’re told in 2 Corinthians 9:10-11 that God is the One who gives to us and helps us grow in righteousness, so that we can be “enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.”

It appears that the older son felt he had experienced a hard life, with little benefit or reward. He didn’t see much, if anything, to be thankful for.

We need to maintain a loving relationship with our Father, appreciating especially how He has given us the life and example of His Son. This affects how we react to some of the difficult pressures and trials we have to face. If we accept God’s calling and become converted, our reward is waiting for us, and it is far greater than any expectations we may have for our human lives.

John 10:10-11 shows that Christ, “the good shepherd,” wants to give us an abundant life, and He has sacrificed Himself for us: “The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.” We can be eternally grateful for such incredible gifts!

Christians and nonbelievers

The older son in the parable had a self-righteous outlook, and he couldn’t understand how his father could accept his reprobate, wasteful brother back, and even celebrate his return.

What about our outlook on those God will call to the marriage supper at the very end of this age, people from the highways and byways (Matthew 22:9-10)?

These may be individuals who have little knowledge of the Bible, or who come from an unsavory background. Longtime Christians who have “borne the burden and the heat of the day” (Matthew 20:12) may find it difficult to understand how God could be calling these people. But He will.

The older son also prejudged his brother—assuming he was unrepentant—without talking to him about his experiences in the foreign land and his reason for returning home. As Christians, we cannot afford to prejudge people we meet. Many we work with observe pagan practices and may have a very different worldview than we have. What is our daily attitude and conversation with them like? Are we like Christ, who was willing to sit and eat with “sinners and tax collectors”? God wants all sinners to repent and is delighted when they do. We should have the same mind-set as God and not assume that people will be unrepentant when they come to understand that they have not followed God’s instructions.

The attitude God wants

The difference in attitudes between the two sons, brought out by how the older son related to the lost son, is well illustrated by another of Christ’s parables.

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’

“And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 18:10-14).

We need to have the humility of the repentant tax collector and the lost brother returning to his father. God works with us if we have this approach (1 Peter 5:5-7). We also must avoid the unforgiving, self-righteous attitude of the older brother. Instead, we should take our cue from our forgiving and caring Father.

If the Father lives in us (John 14:23), we will indeed be able to forgive any prodigal son that repents. (See also the article titled “The Pharisee and the Tax Collector.”)