What Does Redemption Mean in the Bible?

 

What is the biblical teaching of redemption? Why do we all need to be redeemed, and how should a redeemed person live? How should we respond to our Redeemer?

The following three scriptures paint a grim picture of the state of humanity:

• “Sin is the transgression of the law” (1 John 3:4, King James Version).
• “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23).
• “All have sinned” (Romans 3:23).

In other words, the 8 billion human beings who currently inhabit the earth—and the untold billions who have ever existed—have incurred the cruel debt of death because of their sins.

Every debtor will have to make one of two choices: either let his or her life be claimed as payment, or sorrowfully beg for forgiveness—for redemption.

We need to know what redemption means, how mankind came to need it and the personal responsibility that comes with redemption, which is seldom discussed.

What does redemption mean?

To “redeem” means to buy back. Redemption is about reclaiming something. Say you left your watch at a pawn shop in exchange for a loan. To redeem your watch, you would need to repay the loan plus interest, and then you could get your watch back. When ownership of an object is regained through payment, you can say the item has been redeemed.

Of course, when it comes to the debt we owe for our sins—death—we cannot redeem ourselves. We need a Redeemer.

The Bible also uses the related idea of paying a ransom (Hosea 13:14). This can mean to buy someone back from slavery or, as it is generally used today, from a kidnapper.

Applying that concept to God’s title as “Redeemer” (Psalm 78:35) reminds us of the historic event in the book of Exodus when God purchased His people from slavery. The Israelites experienced back-breaking slavery that caused them to cry for deliverance (Exodus 2:23).

God heard their groans and pleas.

“Therefore say to the children of Israel,” God instructed Moses, “I am the LORD; I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, I will rescue you from their bondage, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments” (Exodus 6:6).

As the following chapters point out, Pharaoh would not let them go, in spite of seeing God’s power in plague after plague, which culminated in the death of thousands of Egypt’s firstborn.

The nation of Egypt and its people were greatly punished as God redeemed Israel, and God wanted the steep cost of their freedom to continually remind them of what was necessary to buy them out of slavery.

Of course, their response to being redeemed should have been wholehearted loyalty to God. They should have been full of awe and gratitude, with a commitment to obey Him always. But, unfortunately, history documents their chronic forgetfulness of what God had done for them.

However, God wants us to understand the modern-day parallel to the Exodus story. One important takeaway from the Bible is that the Israelites’ bondage was only a type of the large-scale slavery currently taking place.

Today, literally billions of people are enslaved.

Why do we need redemption?

When the Pharisees of Jesus’ day heard Jesus offer His followers freedom, they snapped back, “We are Abraham’s descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, ‘You will be made free’?” (John 8:33).

In other words, “We have never been anyone’s slaves.”

But Jesus’ response holds the key: “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin” (verse 34, emphasis added throughout).

To that point, David observed, “The LORD looks down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there are any who understand, who seek God. They have all turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is none who does good, no, not one” (Psalm 14:2-3).

It’s not an overstatement to say that sin has enslaved all of mankind. The words “children of men,” “all” and “none” prove that man’s condition is something felt globally. It would, however, be incorrect to say that each person’s bondage to sin is displayed in the same way. Actually, the visible effects of slavery vary from individual to individual.

For example, sin draws some to commit fornication. Sin uses the appeal of euphoria to push hard drugs on vulnerable people, who then become hopelessly hooked. Sin influences some to drink excessively. Sin feeds the “I do what I want, when I want” ego that encourages people to view God’s law with animosity.

No matter what an individual may grapple with, the powerful message is there: all human beings are sold under sin, through breaking God’s commandments (Romans 3:9; 1 John 3:4). Therefore, everyone has earned the penalty, the incurred debt, which is death (Romans 6:23).

Mankind’s only hope for survival is being redeemed by God.

What is the redemption price for us?

No amount of money could pay for our death penalty. Not a million dollars or a billion dollars or even a trillion dollars.

And the redemption of mankind collectively requires paying the death penalty for every sin committed by every human being throughout all time.

The only payment that could satisfy that demand—the only thing valuable enough and precious enough—was the life of the morally perfect, totally innocent, completely sinless Son of God, Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ the Redeemer

Jesus told His disciples, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

Jesus met the total indebtedness of mankind with one payment: His shed blood.

Reflecting on Old Testament sacrificial practices, the author of Hebrews reminds us, “Not with the blood of goats and calves, but with His own blood He [Jesus] entered the Most Holy Place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption” (Hebrews 9:12).

The worth of His life far outweighed that of any other human being to the point of being impossible to quantify. But wanting to redeem mankind, He willingly gave His life as a ransom. Were it not for Him, every human being would have remained in bondage and died in bondage.

Is redemption the end of the story?

Many today claim they have been redeemed by Jesus’ sacrifice, but go on living the same sinful life they had before they “got saved.” (To learn more about our personal responsibility after redemption, read our article “Once Saved, Are You Always Saved?”)

Redemption from sin is not the end. Once our sins are paid for by the inestimable price of Jesus’ blood, God solemnly charges us not to return to sin. Reverting back to that lifestyle, God says, is like a dog who licks up his own vomit, or a “a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire” (2 Peter 2:22).

Redeemed Christians are not to return to a life of sin, any more than an ex-convict should return to the life of crime that landed him or her behind bars in the first place. The spiritual recidivism rate is high because many fail to grasp what it means to “walk in newness of life” and to seek God’s help to do it (Romans 6:4).

Paul encountered something similar back in his day.

Apparently, some thought sexual immorality wasn’t that bad or reasoned that it could be tolerated because of God’s grace.

But Paul decisively rejected the approach of redemption as a license to sin. “Flee sexual immorality,” or get away from sin, he chided them (1 Corinthians 6:18). “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit . . . and you are not your own?” (verse 19).

Why did he say they were not their own?

God has a plan of redemption for the whole world, and He is currently unfolding it, beginning with those whose eyes are opened to their own bondage.“For you were bought at a price,” he soberly reminded them (verse 20). In other words, you have become the sole property of God. It’s no longer an option to use your hands to steal, your mouth to lie, your eyes to covet or your body to commit fornication—you don’t belong to yourself anymore.

Instead, Paul told them to “glorify God in your body and your spirit, which are God’s” (verse 20).

Nothing in these words suggests that Paul supported a do-nothing Christianity. He was making the point that redemption comes with high expectations.

In Romans 6:13 Paul elaborated, “And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.”

Redemption includes an exchange of masters. God’s redeemed people are freed from slavery to sin, and with that freedom comes the responsibility to obey God’s laws. Simply put, we are to go from being law-breakers to being law-keepers.

As people who are no longer the property of sin and Satan the devil, we need to be totally submissive to God, who is our Redeemer and Master.

Is there a future aspect to redemption?

But suppose somebody has been redeemed and yields to God in every way until the day he or she dies—then what?

For the redeemed Christian who “overcomes” and keeps Jesus’ “works until the end,” there is God’s secure, unwavering promise of redemption from the grave (Revelation 2:26; Romans 6:22). Jesus called this “the resurrection of life,” which will take place at His second coming (John 5:29).

(To learn more about what this resurrection means, see our article “What Are the Resurrections?”)

Expressing complete confidence in this promise, the sons of Korah wrote, “But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave, for He shall receive me” (Psalm 49:15).

Job, who longed for the time his Redeemer would stand on the earth (Job 19:25), also said, “I will wait, till my change comes. You shall call, and I will answer You; You shall desire the work of your hands” (Job 14:14-15).

Paul was similarly convinced: “We ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body” (Romans 8:23).

Every true Christian who has been purchased by the blood of the Son of God keeps the hope of the resurrection—the final redemption—alive as he or she strives to overcome sin.

Redemption and the gospel

God has a plan of redemption for the whole world, and He is currently unfolding it, beginning with those whose eyes are opened to their own bondage.

Part of the gospel’s thrust is that God offers redemption. Upon heartfelt repentance, a person can have freedom from the power of sin and have his or her debt cleared through Christ’s blood. At that point, he or she is expected to submit to all of God’s laws until death. Then, in the first resurrection, he or she will finally be redeemed from death and given eternal life.

All of these components are included in what it means to be redeemed.

(If you want to learn more about how redemption for mankind is pictured by God’s annual festivals, see our booklet From Holidays to Holy Days: God’s Plan for You.)

Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment

 

James 2:13 says that mercy triumphs over judgment. What does that mean, and how should it impact our interactions with other people?

Mercy.

Judgment.

Both of these concepts can be found throughout the Bible, and they are used in various ways. We may sometimes envision the idea of leniency when we hear the word mercy, and the idea of condemnation when we hear the word judgment.

Using those definitions might lead us to view mercy and judgment as competing concepts that are unable to coexist—either you receive mercy, or you receive judgment.

The full verse in James 2:13 states, “For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (emphasis added throughout).

How exactly does mercy triumph over judgment? Is James indicating that judgment no longer has any relevance once mercy enters the picture?

Consider the context of “mercy triumphs over judgment”

To gain a better understanding of the phrase in question, it can be helpful to examine the preceding verses. The end of James chapter 1 states that a key aspect of “pure and undefiled religion before God” is “to visit orphans and widows in their trouble” (verse 27). The general principle involved is to show compassion to those who are in need—in essence, we are to show them mercy, as is also brought out in Proverbs 14:31.

While we may typically think of the concept of mercy in relation to forgiveness of someone who commits wrongdoing, it can also encompass kindness toward those who may be in difficult situations through no fault of their own.

This section of James primarily focuses on the fact that we should show mercy to those in need. But the same general conclusions apply with respect to showing mercy to someone who has sinned—as will be addressed later in this article.

Either way, an important takeaway highlighted by James 1:27 is that mercy must be part of our way of life. God wants us to be kind and compassionate to those around us.

Additional discussion about various aspects of godly mercy can be found in the articles “What Is the Difference Between Mercy and Grace?” and “Blessed Are the Merciful.”

An example of judgment without mercy

The second chapter of James then presents a specific scenario that reinforces this foundational principle of being merciful. A warning against showing partiality is given in verse 1, followed by an example of how that might occur.

James 2:2-4 states, “For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, ‘You sit here in a good place,’ and say to the poor man, ‘You stand there,’ or, ‘Sit here at my footstool,’ have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?”

In the situation described by James, a rich man and a poor man were treated differently because of their financial status. The scenario in these verses was in conflict with the “pure and undefiled religion” of James 1:27.

The importance of mercy—displaying kindness and compassion to those in need—should have resulted in Church members seeking to help the poor man as appropriate. Instead, showing partiality in judgment “dishonored the poor man” (James 2:6).

Mercy and God’s law

The Christians to whom James was writing may not have given much thought to the practice of showing favoritism to the wealthy, as it would have been a common occurrence in their society. However, James reminded them that God’s “royal law” gives the instruction to “love your neighbor as yourself” (verse 8). He went on to state that being partial violates that law, and thus is a sin (verse 9).

Why was partiality contrary to God’s law of loving one’s neighbor? In the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus Christ emphasized that the foundation of God’s law is love. He then told the story of a Samaritan who had compassion on a man who had been attacked, robbed and left for dead on the side of the road. As verse 37 highlights, the Samaritan demonstrated love to his “neighbor”—someone he didn’t even know—by showing mercy to him.

God wants us to exhibit that same type of mercy and love in our own lives; He wants us to willingly show compassion toward all of the people with whom we interact—regardless of who they are. The discrimination against the poor man in the scenario that James wrote about reflected a failure to display mercy and to obey that law of love—and was thus a sin.

God’s standard of judgment

Romans 6:23 tells us that if we commit any sin, we have earned the penalty of eternal death. No matter how diligently we may obey various aspects of God’s law, falling short in a single area means that we are guilty of sin (James 2:10-11) and thus deserve the death penalty.

Since failing to show mercy is a very serious matter, James continued his message by instructing his audience to make sure that their words and actions were in alignment with “the law of liberty”—the standard by which God judges us (verse 12).

Contrary to what some may believe, James’ use of the word liberty does not mean that Christians have been given freedom to break God’s law. Rather, the Bible makes it clear that obedience to God’s law is a vital aspect of achieving true liberty—which is freedom from captivity to sin. (For a more detailed discussion of this topic, please see “Galatians 5: What Does ‘Yoke of Bondage’ Mean?” and related articles.)

God uses His law as the basis for judgment when He begins calling an individual. This form of judgment is a process that continues throughout the remainder of a Christian’s lifetime. It’s not the condemnation that we may typically envision.

A condition for receiving mercy

If the only factor used to decide our final judgment was our obedience to God’s law, then none of us would have any hope, for we all have sinned (Romans 3:23). But God does not want any of us to die! His desire is for each one of us to be saved (1 Timothy 2:3-4). He wants to show us mercy!

But He also wants us to recognize the destructive nature of sin and reject it. He wants us to realize that His way is best and that we should take steps to become like Him.

Peter highlights an important condition for receiving mercy from God. He states that God is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). The key to being forgiven by God and spared the death penalty is repentance.

True repentance involves a change in the way we think and live—a change in who we are. If we sin by failing to show mercy to others, then God expects us to change from that wrong way of thinking and acting, and to move toward becoming merciful the way He is.

The merciful shall obtain mercy

Multiple biblical passages reinforce the point that exhibiting mercy to others in all aspects—kindness, compassion, forgiveness—is required if we hope to ultimately receive mercy from God.

• Matthew 5:7 states, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”
• In the parable of the sheep and the goats (Matthew 25:31-46), the sheep were rewarded for their compassionate service to other people—which occurred with no consideration of who those people were—while the goats were condemned for their lack of compassion.
• In the model prayer that Jesus Christ gave to His disciples as an outline, we are shown that our ability to obtain forgiveness for our sins is dependent on whether we forgive others for wrongdoings they have committed against us (Matthew 6:12).
• The parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35) vividly illustrates the fact that since God is willing to forgive us a debt that we could never repay (the penalty of death that we have earned because of our sins), we should be willing to have compassion on others as well.

As God works with us, He is going through the process of evaluating how well we are internalizing His trait of mercy (and all aspects of His character). His fervent desire is that, at the conclusion of this judgment process, He will ultimately show us mercy when our final sentence is rendered!

From the perspective of this period during which God evaluates us, mercy and judgment can coexist, because each one of us undergoes that process of judgment when we are presented with our opportunity for salvation—and each one of us does so in the hope of receiving mercy from God.

But from the perspective of our ultimate outcome—our final sentence—either we will be granted mercy and the gift of salvation, or we will receive the condemnation of death that we have earned. Those two final outcomes cannot exist simultaneously.

Mercy’s precedence over judgment

Returning to James chapter 2, we see the essence of the matter summarized in verse 13. The verse begins: “For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy.”

In the context of the scenario presented in the preceding verses, if Church members display partiality toward the rich and show no compassion to the poor in their midst, they will earn the sentence of eternal death because of their sin. If they persist in that sin and refuse to repent of their lack of mercy, they cannot expect to be shown any mercy by God.

Verse 13 then concludes on a far more uplifting note: “Mercy triumphs over judgment.” This statement reflects the fact that, in spite of the condemnation of eternal death that our sins have earned, God eagerly desires to grant us forgiveness. If we repent and strive to become like Him, He will mercifully refrain from giving us the sentence that we deserve at the conclusion of our judgment process. He will accept Christ’s death in our stead.

When it comes to God’s incredible capacity to show us compassion and to offer us forgiveness, it is certainly true that His mercy “triumphs” over the ultimate judgment we deserve!For the members to whom James was writing, if they displayed mercy and compassion toward other people in their lives—and if they repented of any ways in which they fell short of showing mercy—then they could take comfort in God’s willingness to be merciful and to spare them from the death penalty.

That same mercy from God is available to us today.

Showing mercy is a higher priority to God than executing the judgment we deserve for every wrong thing that we do. In that sense, mercy is victorious over judgment.

But His mercy does not eliminate the possibility of our receiving that condemnation if we refuse to live according to God’s standards! The fact that God is merciful means that He provides us with ample opportunity to repent. It does not mean that He will grant us unconditional leniency regardless of anything that we do.

Becoming more like God

Since God wants us to take on His nature, our goal should be to emulate Him. We are to prioritize showing mercy to those around us rather than giving judgment in the form of condemnation—even when we are the ones who have been wronged by other people.

This does not mean that we are to overlook sin. Being merciful like God involves our wanting to provide others with the opportunity to demonstrate repentance; it does not involve our condoning evil or abstaining from judgment altogether.

For example, Christ instructed His disciples to “judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24). Similarly, the apostle Paul corrected the Corinthians for being tolerant of sin in their midst. He showed that there are situations in which godly judgment requires us to separate ourselves from those who are practicing evil (1 Corinthians 5:1-13).

It can be challenging at times to determine how we can show mercy the way God expects us to while also properly exercising godly judgment. There is no single approach that applies to every situation; the article “7 Keys for Developing Spiritual Discernment” can be helpful in our lifelong efforts to improve in this area. But a key principle we should take to heart is that just as God eagerly desires to show us mercy, we also should eagerly desire to model the same behavior in our interactions with others. We should love mercy.

A message of hope

Although James 2:13 warns us to examine how we relate to other people, it also provides us with great encouragement. Despite the fact that each one of us has earned the sentence of eternal death because of our sins, God’s mercy is so great that He is ready to forgive us when we repent.

When it comes to God’s incredible capacity to show us compassion and to offer us forgiveness, it is certainly true that His mercy “triumphs” over the ultimate judgment we deserve! Our responsibility is to make sure that we also prioritize mercy in the way we deal with other people.

Forgiving Someone Who Hurt You

 

It’s not easy to forgive enemies. But what about when a fellow Christian hurts you? Or a friend or family member? What factors should you consider?

Sometimes the most easy-to-understand statements are the most difficult to practice. Probably millions of people have repeated Jesus’ words from His model prayer in Matthew 6: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” And probably millions have discovered that while it’s easy to desire forgiveness from God, it can be really hard to extend it to someone else.

It might be even more difficult, some have observed, to forgive our friends than our enemies. Why? Because we expect wounds from strangers or enemies, but being profoundly hurt by someone we love cuts more deeply. When we are hurt by a friend, family member or fellow Christian, it can feel like a betrayal or treachery.

Yes, forgiveness is challenging, but necessary (Matthew 6:14-15). Here are four keys to understanding how to deal with some of the complexities involved.

1. Time—and hard work and repetition—heals all wounds.

The old adage “time heals all wounds” is woefully inadequate. Would you leave a serious physical wound untended, believing that it would heal fine if given enough time? Of course not.

Just as serious physical wounds need repeated proper treatment over a long period of time, so do emotional wounds. Forgiveness is a key treatment for good mental and spiritual health. But forgiving others, while it often does take time, usually requires two more important elements—hard work and repetition.

Our perfect God can immediately remove our sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). But we weaker humans struggle. For us, forgiveness is frequently a repetitive process requiring diligent work over a period of time.

Have you ever thought you had forgiven someone, only to discover that when something triggered memories of a bad experience, hurt feelings came flooding back? What should you do? Rinse and repeat!

We sometimes find ourselves needing to forgive once again what we had already forgiven before! That’s often the battle we face, but repeated efforts eventually settle forgiveness permanently into our mind-set.

I once knew a lady who had been through a long-term abusive relationship. Hurts ran deep, but she knew that bitterness would destroy her, and that forgiveness was the tool God would use to help her heal.

Years later she related to me how it took her five years of persistently working at it, continually praying for God’s help to be able to forgive and not be bitter. Then one day, she said, “I realized, it’s gone!” The hurt had finally drained away, but only because she tenaciously fought to follow God and do the right thing.

At no time did she say, “This forgiveness thing just doesn’t work for me.” No, she kept at it, kept seeking God’s help . . . because it was the right thing to do!

Her motivation ran deeper than just seeking personal peace of mind, though. She knew the first part of Ephesians 4:32, where it instructs us to be “forgiving one another,” but the last part also resonated: “even as God in Christ forgave you.”

She remembered going to God many times, asking for His forgiveness for her part in crucifying Christ—which is what our sins have done (Acts 2:36-38)—and for God’s repeated graciousness to her. We, in turn, are to take on His graciousness and extend it to others who have hurt us.

Yes, it’s hard, and we may have to do it repeatedly over time, but forgiveness does heal wounds.

2. The forgive-and-forget fallacy.

I’ve talked with people who have been confused because they carry vivid memories of the sins of others. They ask, “Aren’t we supposed to forgive and forget? If I remember, does that mean I have not forgiven?”

Forgiveness is complicated and often challenging—sometimes impossibly challenging on a human level! But with God’s divine help, we can meet that challenge!Is forgiving the same as forgetting? Do we even have the capacity to “forgive and forget”?

When God says, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” in Hebrews 8:12 and 10:17, does He establish that as the standard to which we are held?

While He expects us to forgive others, God did not create us with a memory-erase function. Rather, He wants us to learn to properly deal with memories and use them to our advantage.

Many places in the Bible tell us to remember, and sometimes those are painful recollections. Five times in Deuteronomy God told Israel to “remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt” and that God brought them out. That must have been excruciating—they would have recalled the Egyptians’ brutality, even the massacring of their children! Today we can recall our own slavery to sin and the pain some of those sins caused. We can also remember how the sins of others inflicted a lot of pain on us.

But notice what God adds: “Remember that you were a slave in Egypt, and you shall be careful to observe these statutes” (Deuteronomy 16:12, emphasis added). It doesn’t say, “Remember and never forget what others have done to you, so you can get even!” No, we are to remember the pain so we can learn to live God’s way. Isn’t one of the greatest values of memory to retain life’s lessons so we don’t repeat past mistakes—even other people’s mistakes that deeply hurt us?

When striving to forgive others, it’s not wrong to ask God to help us put those hurts behind us.

But if those memories are resurrected, and even if you spend some time dwelling on the past, that doesn’t mean you have not forgiven.

Sometimes situations arise that trigger unpleasant memories. You see something on TV, hear a song, see somebody, and immediately you flash back to that hurtful situation. Whether that is good or bad depends on what you do with the memories. You may momentarily become emotional, angry or depressed. But that doesn’t mean you have not previously forgiven. It does mean that you may have to walk once again through the forgiveness process you’ve been through before.

Remembering the past is natural, but we have to make it productive. Dwelling on the negative by playing that tape over and over again in your mind will encourage bitterness or resentment to rise to the surface.

On the other hand, as forgiveness is worked on, over time bad memories often grow dimmer and come less frequently. And as memories fade, desires to retaliate or be avenged also lessen. The pain eases because the wound is no longer so near the surface and so easily irritated.

Consider the apostle Paul. He wrote in Philippians 3:13-15 about “forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”

The funny thing is, he hadn’t really forgotten the past! A few verses earlier he vividly described painful things in his past, things he now called garbage! While the memories weren’t gone, his point was that he wasn’t dwelling on his own dirty deeds or the dirty deeds of others toward him. He knew his past, but also knew he was forgiven, and knew he was forgiving of others, and that kept him balanced and moving forward in life.

Don’t try to forgive and forget—it’s impossible. But do aim to control the memories of the past through God’s Spirit, learning, growing and drawing ever closer to Him.

3. Forgiveness doesn’t always clean up the mess.

Forgiveness doesn’t always cancel every penalty of sin—the mess sins create. Even after God has canceled the spiritual penalty of eternal death in our lives, we may yet live with certain consequences.

For example, after abusing his or her body for years through smoking, a person may repent and stop. Yet I have known forgiven Christians who died from smoking-induced lung cancer. Should we conclude, “He died of cancer, therefore God must not have forgiven him”? No, even after God forgives us, we sometimes suffer physical and emotional penalties.

The same is true of our relationships with others. Even if you forgive someone, sin’s penalties may linger. Commonly, relationships suffer—marriages may end, family connections may crack, trust may be lost.

You may work through the forgiveness issues you have regarding another person, but you might not see reconciliation. It’s wonderful when you see one person’s forgiving of another doing away with the penalty of a broken relationship, but it doesn’t always happen.

That’s because reconciliation requires two elements from two people: repentance and forgiveness. Let’s say one person mistreats another and causes great damage. Only four results can come out of that relationship:

1. The offender doesn’t repent, and the offended doesn’t forgive (the worst-case scenario).
2. The offender repents, but the offended doesn’t forgive.
3. The offender doesn’t repent, but the offended forgives anyway.
4. The offender repents, and the offended forgives.

Only in the last one will the best-case scenario—reconciliation—take place. In the first instance neither person does right. In scenarios 2 and 3, where one does his or her part but the other doesn’t, the one who does the right thing will be clear before God, but the human relationship will remain unreconciled.

Until healing reconciliation takes place, penalties will still be felt. But, again, the fact that penalties remain does not necessarily mean that forgiveness has not been extended.

4. “To err is human, to forgive divine.”

Alexander Pope’s observation holds a lot of truth. All humans can forgive some things on their own. When the toddler in the grocery store blurts out, “You’re old and fat,” and his embarrassed mother begs my forgiveness, my feelings may be hurt, but I can forgive his childish transgression.

But sooner or later we run into forgiveness issues that we cannot work through on our own. We need something divine—God’s mind, God’s help. Our capacity to forgive will only come from His working in us, raising us to higher levels of spiritual performance than we are capable of on our own.

These are the times when we humbly appeal to God, “I’m so deeply wounded I don’t have it in me to forgive. Yet I want to follow You. I don’t want this to destroy me or my relationships with You or with others. Please help me with the spiritual understanding and perseverance I need to work through this.”

He will!

Forgiveness is complicated and often challenging—sometimes impossibly challenging on a human level! But with God’s divine help, we can meet that challenge!